The Homemade Heart

we confer

In our house, Saturdays are marked by a general slowing of the pace, time spent relaxing, nicer food, a couple of glasses of wine with dinner, and an attempt at the weekend crossword.

We buy two newspapers; a luxury, but worth it for marital harmony. Previous attempts to do the crossword together ended with gritted teeth. Derek is too fast for me and inevitably answered many more clues than I did. I trailed behind. When I triumphantly announced an answer, he was already ten steps ahead of me. The cost of the extra newspaper is offset by the domestic equilibrium achieved by each working at our own pace, in our different ways. Derek is a mine of general knowledge; and works quickly, logically and systematically. I am neither a mine of general knowledge, nor quick, nor logical, but I enjoy answering what I can. 

Once we have both squeezed the crossword dry individually, we confer. This is the best bit. We spend a peaceful half hour together running through the crossword, Derek supplying many answers I have been unable to find, me (very) occasionally supplying an answer for him.

The crossword is one of those seemingly unimportant habits that add up with other, similar small treats, or times spent together, that combine to make the weekend feel so different from the week.

 

we read the books and talk about them

My book group is 10 years old this year. I have been a member for 9 years, and have read 80+ book group books in that time.  The book group has been a constant source of pleasure for me; both for the books and authors it has introduced me to, and because of the members, most of whom have been there since the beginning. Many book groups founder before they have read a dozen books. Why has our group lasted so long?

There are a couple of reasons why our group is still going strong, apart from the minimum requirements which are of course a love of books and reading, and a free evening once a month. Firstly, the group is well organised. Secondly, and most importantly, we read the books and talk about them. I could also add that the other members are delightful women whose company, insights, opinions, and love of reading have brought great richness to my inner life.

I was terribly flattered to be asked to join at all. I worked with one of the original members, and we often talked about books and reading. When someone left the bookgroup, I was invited to take her place. I instantly accepted.

My boys were very young at the time, and the book group became a lifeline to the outside world. I rarely missed a meeting, and the feeling of freedom and relaxation during those hours talking about books sustained me through many a trying day.

Our structure is well tried and tested and it works, as the longevity of the group testifies. We meet once a month, from 8pm-10pm. Hosting the group is rotational; everyone does it about once a year. The host offers tea, coffee, soft drinks, red or white wine, and snacks. We're not talking about home made petit fours here, just a few crisps and a packet of biscuits. Shop bought is fine. The reason I mention this is that I have heard horror stories of book groups where the host provides a cooked meal for the group. Cooking dinner for friends is a lovely thing to do, but I would have no desire to combine it with a book group meeting.

The previous month's host leads the discussion, as her choice of book will have been read in the preceding weeks. This isn't as intimidating as it sounds. Often books will include guidance questions for book groups, the internet is awash with helpful questions for book groups, and anyone can say 'What did you think of the book?'

At the end of the evening, this month's host reveals her choice of book for the coming month. It should ideally be one that is new to the whole group. We read a wide range of books, almost invariably fiction, rarely biography or autobiography, and infrequently crime. There's no getting round it, choosing a book that you hope will entertain the group and be sufficiently thought provoking, is not easy, but it's all part of the fun of being a book group member. We all buy our own copies of the book for the coming month, or borrow them from the library.

The following month, the person who hosted last month's meeting, and chose the book, leads the discussion. The person hosting the evening reveals their book choice for the following month at the end of the evening, and so the cycle continues.

We have a break in July and August, and in December our meeting follows a slightly different format, where we all bring a book, and all receive a book, read those books over the Christmas period, and informally discuss them during our annual book group dinner, held in January. The host for February's meeting reveals her choice of book at the end of the meal, and off we go again.

Though the structure of the book group is quite formal, the meetings are very informal, with lots of laughs and always time for a chat before we settle down to discuss the book. However, we do discuss the book we have read for that month; we are all committed to that. Occasionally of course, someone wont have managed to finish it, but on the whole we do try our hardest. I mention this because I suspect that failing to read the books is why many book groups stop being book groups and instead become social groups. Which is also lovely, but not a book group.

I am fascinated by book groups in general, how they work, what books are read, who chooses the books, if the chosen books are read, if the members get on well. I know of at least one book group which fell apart because some members were so adversarial that harmonious discussion was not possible. We are fortunate in our group, not because we all agree, but because we can disagree courteously. 

I hope our book group keeps going for another 10 years, and then 10 more. Why stop, unless our love of reading diminishes, and I sincerely hope that never happens.

(For sheer style and longevity, you may like to read about the ladies in  this book group.)

Year in books: February

Joining the Year in Books link up over at Circle of Pine Trees hosted by Laura. If you haven't yet visited or joined the Year in Books it is well worth a visit. Many good books, lovely blogs to find, and Laura welcomes everyone and anyone who wants to join.

For my January read I chose 'The Miniaturist' by Jessie Burton. Set in 17c Amsterdam, it concerns 18 year old Nella Oortman, who has married an older, wealthy, merchant Johannes Brandt. She doesn't know him well; but though nervous, she is committed to the idea of married life. The Brandt household is grand, imposing, but suffocating with secrets. It soon becomes clear that Nella has been selected for her youth and supposed malleability, rather than for any notion of love. The servants seem insolent, with more power than Nella is used to. Her husband's domineering sister, Marin, controls the household, and makes Nella's life difficult. The Miniaturist of the title is a will-o'-the-wisp, a woman who lives nearby and predicts Nella's future via miniature dolls and household objects delivered to the house in mysterious circumstances.  

On the whole this book was a disappointment. The opening chapters were intriguing, if slightly confusing in places, but after the 'big reveal'  the story lost some momentum.  Nella came over as a girl of very modern sensibilities; she didn't have the 'feel' of a period character. The Miniaturist of the title is not, in the end, a catalyst, merely a commentator, albeit with a magical or supernatural bent. Lots of descriptions of food, feasting and cooking, which I enjoyed. I would have liked to find out how the characters coped with their changed circumstances by the end of the book, but the ending was abrupt, leaving many questions unanswered. Not my particular cup of tea, but it was a huge best seller last year, so perhaps I am missing something.

My book this month is 'The Rosie Effect' by Graeme Simsion.

 It is a follow up to 'The Rosie Project', which I read last year for my terrestrial book group. The lead character, Don Tillman, is an 'innocent abroad'  who sees the world from his singular point of view; missing many of the more subtle nuances of everyday social interactions and relationships, and unwittingly causing havoc. However this is no slapstick comedy. Although there are laugh-out-loud moments on almost every page, Don Tillman is highly intelligent; kind, honest, well intentioned, and keen to find love. The way he goes about the latter provides the plot for 'The Rosie Project' . 'The Rosie Effect' is his further adventures as, now married, he navigates the tricky business of everyday life with the added complication of a wife. I am so looking forward to reading this book.

Incidentally 'The Rosie Project' is a fine example of the power of book groups to open your eyes to books you would never usually select yourself. I was well aware of 'The Rosie Project' but I wouldn't have read it, partly because of the gaudy cover, and partly because it was on every supermarket shelf. (Which I accept is literary snobbishness. Which I deplore. Officially.) However; it was selected by another book group member for discussion, so had to be read, et voila, a firm favourite and one which goes on my list of books to read when you are down/unwell/otherwise requiring a bit of comfort and good cheer.