What's going on?
My blog has been teetering on the brink of extinction in recent months....
My last Cookery Calendar Challenge did not materialise (though I am still cooking)
My quilt posts dried up (though I am still quilting)
My book posts failed to materialise (though I am still reading)
My seasonal posts have not been written (though I am still noting and enjoying the changing seasons)
My annual Dalmally Show post has never been composed (though it was a good year for prizes and cups)
My Christmas crafts and recipes have not been shared (though preparations are well underway)
Why?
The lure of Instagram (easy, colourful, quick, communicative)
The less you blog....the less you blog (losing the habit)
The difficulty of knowing how to restart (feeling mildly embarrassed)
The nagging question 'Do I still want to do this?' (still having doubts)
But....
The main reason I have not been around is a change in our lives which I have been focussed on adapting to, and it has taken time: Jacob has left home to go to University, and my little nest is half empty. One of my baby birds has flown, and is joyfully spreading his wings as a fledgling adult. A very large baby bird, at 6' 4" with size 12 feet, but my baby bird nevertheless.
This is, of course, what we bring our children up to do, and I am truly happy and proud that my dear boy is forging ahead with his characteristic single minded energy and commitment, calmly taking this new situation in his stride. He is loving university life, keeping in touch with us, and staying true to himself, and I can't ask for more than that.
However....
How to get used to the empty bedroom; the un-raided fridge, the clean bathroom, the lack of dirty dishes in the sitting room, the loft ladders no longer dominating our narrow hallway (Jacob had a man-cave in the loft, and I had grown used to daily negotiating my way past the wooden loft ladders).
How to get used to not seeing him, cuddling him, talking to him every day, going in to his room at night to say goodnight, tell him that I love him, and go to bed knowing my wee family was all under one roof.
In the end, it comes down to a hefty dose of self discipline. I haven't sent him to war, and I haven't sent him to sea, so I can cope, and I am coping, and will cope.
I have also been very absorbed in supporting Isaac through some challenging health issues, which have been adversely affecting his well-being for a long time. We are now slowly - painfully slowly - moving forwards and hopefully life should begin to gradually (how I wish it were instantly) improve for my wonderful, creative, musical, sensitive, kind, funny, gentle boy.
So...
I have been busily assimilating the changed rhythms of home life for the last few months, and my familiar blogging subjects and themes have not felt a natural fit for what was happening, and how I was feeling.
My lead carnivore (Jacob) is eating his dinners elsewhere now, and we are eating differently at home because of this absence, hence no Cookery Calendar Challenge.
I have been sewing, and making quilts, but not taking photographs of them; it didn't seem important.
I have been reading, but not as much as I usually do.
I have been walking every day, but not taking my camera, or actively looking for 'good' photography subjects for the blog when out and about, as I previously would have.
The question is....
Is blogging still something I want to do? Is it still a happy fit with what I want to write about and can I truly write about what is currently important in my life without compromising privacy, or sounding mysterious; neither of which are acceptable?
And the answer...
I honestly don't know. I have been thinking about writing this post for several weeks, not sure what to say, or how to say it. I have been writing this blog fairly consistently since January 2014, and I guess it is natural that there will be fallow periods now and then. This evening, sitting at my desk beside the fire, the winter wind howling round the house, it feels pleasant to be writing again; rather like meeting an old friend, and realising that you have missed them.
I think there are things I would probably like to write about soon: I have a big pile of books waiting to be read, and several recommendations from recent reads. I have a Christmas quilt well underway. We are having a pre-Christmas brunch for family this weekend, and it would be nice to take photographs of the table, the food, the twinkling light from the candles. I will be planning my Christmas food gifts soon, and might make something new this year, and share the recipes....
Hmmm, I think my blog rehabilitation period may officially have begun.
(*photographs from family holiday in Northumberland this summer)
